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Happy Birthday, Mum

This is Mary Glen Keirstead Routliffe Stirling. She was born on May 30, 1927, in Greenwich, Nova Scotia, Canada. For most of her life, she lived within 10.5 miles of the house where a midwife delivered her.* Nova Scotia was where she died, on Oct. 27, 2013. Nova Scotia was her home.

In the 13 years since she died, I've generally remembered her on the anniversary of her death, and I'll undoubtedly do that again. But today, when she would have turned 98 if she hadn't moved on, I wanted to turn my face to the sky and sing Happy Birthday to her. I hope she and my stepdad, Rob Stirling, young and beautiful again as they were when they fell in love, are together.

And I like to think that after a modest dinner at a modest heavenly restaurant, with a birthday cake that has all the taste and none of the calories, that they will leave the restaurant, and dance together, twirling and laughing, in the stars.

I love you, Mum.

*She spent a short time in Montreal as a newly minted nurse, and later, in the years she was married to my father, she lived in or around Mont Joli, Quebec. Together, those probably consisted of no more than five years.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: Ateez, "Say My Name"

kaffy_r

Orange Cake and Daily Tasks

Very quickly, because I'm busy rewatching a Korean music group challenge show (because of course I am), I wanted to announce to a waiting world that the second time I baked this particular orange cake, it was just as good as the first time. I am satisfied.

Today was supposed to be the first day that I gathered up all the paperwork we need to prepare Bob's Canadian permanent residence application. I ended up dealing with other things, but I hope it wasn't just a case of me trying to avoid a tough job. It's undoubtedly not nearly as tough as my fears make it seem. I'm going to do my best tomorrow to get the job done. Then Bob and I will figure out the following day's tasks wrt the application. We figured that we'd try to tackle one job each every day, and we're going to try to stick to that.

Well, except for me, obviously. Sigh.

Wish us both luck tomorrow.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: Kingdom: Legendary War

kaffy_r

Once Again, I Remember.

There are thousands upon thousands of men and women across the country's military branches who have given their lives in defense of the nation, or as victims of the country's necessary and unnecessary wars. This day is complicated, especially for someone who grew up in Canada, where solemn remembrance of such losses are marked on Nov. 11.

Over the years, I've come to mark Memorial Day in two ways. I honor those people, so many of them young, who gave the last full measure of devotion in wars. And I also remember people who I lost. So here are two essays I wrote in previous years.

*** *** ***

Memorial Day: It's Complicated

( It's complicated. )

*** *** ***

I Remember: A Personal Memorial Day

( I Miss Them )

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: the home office

kaffy_r

Bread Worked Out. Plus 2024 Ateez Coachella Performances Located

Yes, I am but a tiny speck on this globe, and my successes and failures are as unimportant as can possibly be imagined. Still, one takes one's victories where one can find them, she said pretentiously.

First the bread. I went back to a Kitchen Aid recipe for two loaves of white bread. I'd previously had minimal success with it, but I wasn't going to fool around with a completely new recipe, and potentially lose more ingredients, a la yesterday's whole wheat bread failure (I'm not going to call it a debacle, because I've learned from it.)

I was pleasantly surprised, to put it mildly. I paid a great deal of attention to the heat of the liquid into which I was supposed to put the dry yeast, and I'm embarrassed to say that was something I previously failed to do well. And surprise! The bread came together and rose beautifully, not just during the first rise, but during the final rise. They're now out of the oven and they look spectacularly ordinary, which was what I was aiming for. Huzzah!

The second bit of success was within the field of my latest obsession, the KPop group called Ateez. Like SKZ, they have eight members, and they debuted just a bit later (Oct. 24, 2018) than Stray Kids (March 25, 2018). The two groups are very friendly, despite working under different entertainment agencies.

Ateez songs, choreography, and lore differ noticeably from SKZ; to my ears, they're just a hair rougher than their hyungs. Both groups have labored under peoples' view of them as noisy, and I think that's one of the reasons they appreciate each other. But I digress. I was trying to find videos of one or both weekends they performed at Coachella 2024. It was difficult, but the KPop subreddit came to my rescue. And since Bob agreed to watch one of the performances with me, I now have something to show him. Again - huzzah!

Current Mood: grateful
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: Ateez, "Say My Name" on repeat

kaffy_r

George Floyd

It's been five years since George Floyd was murdered by Derek Chauvin. Little has changed, except to get worse.

The racist rot runs deep in this country - arguably it's one of the rotten support beams holding the United States up. Perhaps we can change that, and create support beams that partake of justice, but these days I'm not overly optimistic.

I remember George Floyd. I mourn him, at least in that way that a strange white woman can mourn him. I hope other strange white women, and white men, and others who aren't Black Americans can also mourn. And perhaps starting working for something better.

Current Mood: morose
Current Location: the home office

kaffy_r

Entertaining: the Art of Maintaining Spoons

We had a young friend over for supper tonight. He's a reporter I've known for a few years. He's very good at what he does, although I sometimes wonder if he fully realizes it. He is an immigrant, whose family came to the U.S. when he was fairly young, and he's worked through some challenges, and done so very well, in my opinion. He recently became an American citizen.

I put together some slow-cooker beef bourguignon (well, it started that way, but I added a lot more than just red wine, plus vegetables that don't normally go into that dish), and an orange cake, put the place generally to rights, with Bob's help. I'd hoped to dust the living room, but Bob got the carpet vacuumed, and that made the place presentable.

For a wonder, everything was ready when our friend got here. It's been some time (as in, a few years) since we've had him over. We truly are hermits; we have friends who we haven't interacted with for horribly long periods of time ... anyhow, last week I ran into him at a social event for people who work for one of the local online news outlets I do stringer work for. He was feeling fairly down for various reasons, and asked if I could give him a hug. Well, that did it for me; I had to have him over for supper.

We had a really enjoyable time with him, for a couple of hours, and then I had to bring the evening to a close. The physical reason was because my back was starting to suggest that I should find some heat or ice as soon as possible. The mental and emotional reason was that I abruptly lost every one of my remaining spoons and I needed to be alone with Bob, STAT.

It happens to me, and to Bob. We still enjoy entertaining people, albeit not nearly as much as we used to, when we had a larger place, but it's always been tiring, and these days it's even more so. Entertaining people means you have to put your own best foot forward; you have to be on, in order to make sure your guests have a good time, to make sure you're listening to them, to make sure you're not talking too much at their expense, and so much more. And yes, you work hard to present yourself as an excellent host.

It is fucking exhausting. It's fun, but only for a given amount of time. Once that last spoon is gone? It's time to beat a determined retreat.

And that's what I'm about to do. Painkillers and heating pads, ho!

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: Ateez, "Inception"

kaffy_r

Bread Dread

I didn't get my first try at whole wheat bread done. I got the yeast mix too hot. It didn't rise at all. Ended up throwing out a lovely smelling brown brick. Still, it's a learning process. I may try again tomorrow.

I also have to make beef stew tomorrow; we're having a friend over. Wish me luck.

Oh, and I've watched episodes 2 and 3 of Dr. Who. I imagine I'll have some thoughts soon.

Current Mood: tired
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: RM "Mono"

sasha_feather

I've been living at my childhood home, a hobby farm in Minnesota, taking care of my dad. Soon my dad will be moving to assisted living, along with my mom who is moving there from the nursing home.

I'll be staying at the farm and looking after the animals. I'd rather live here with other people, as it's safer and more fun. I have multiple disabilities which make managing a whole farm rather difficult on my own. I've had a couple of seizures which make it safer for me to have people around me. Minnesota is one of the better places to live right now in the US and this could be a good opportunity for someone to live here.

So, if you know of anyone that would like a nice place to live, please direct them my way, especially queer and trans people looking for a relatively safe place. There is a lot of space in the house (3 full bathrooms, 4 bedrooms), and plenty of outdoor space.

I have one cat and one dog in the house, and outside there are a few sheep, one aging horse that is strictly a pasture pet, and some guinea fowl. Amenities include a dishwasher, laundry, wifi, some streaming services, 2 gas fireplaces. This is a wonderful place for hobbies such as gardening, woodworking, fiber arts, baking, etc. In addition to the house there are some outbuildings and a nice garden shed. Opportunities for fishing, golf, biking abound in the region.

Couples (+) are welcome as are kids. There is a good elementary school just a few miles away.

The house needs a bit of work, but overall it's very nice and peaceful. One thing I do contend with here is bugs. There is no central AC but we can do window AC units when needed. Sometimes the dog barks in an annoying manner (we are working on it). I could use help with mowing, weeding, cutting brush.

You could live here for cheap as I mostly am looking for company and help. I can't live with smokers due to my disabilities. I have lived with roommates for most of my life and can provide references.

The house is rural but only a few miles from the nearest shopping area, and close to a small city. You would probably need to have a car, though we can get grocery delivery here.

My interests include watching TV shows and movies, gardening, science fiction, jigsaw puzzles, thrifting. I'm a queer woman in my 40s. I'm a rather extreme night owl.

If interested you can comment here or email me, sandphin at gmail dot com. Share this link with people you think might be interested!

kaffy_r

Overly Loud Music in Ear Buds: Threat or Menace?*

It's been a minute since I last posted. Not, like, a real long minute, but a metaphorical minute nonetheless. For the last few days, it's been dank and grey here in Chicago, and the stress levels at Casa kaffy_rbob continue to be somewhere between Defcon 3 and 2, for all the reasons previously recited at tedious length.

When that happens, or continues happening, my go-to stress reliever, the one that effectively cuts my ability to get things done, but possibly saves a sliver of my sanity, is to put my ear buds in, and blast SKZ or Ateez at skull-rattlingly unhealthy levels right into my brain. It's a good thing that's actually a very bad thing, but I don't really care. If my hearing wasn't damaged by standing on a stage between very loud amplifiers, then my rock and roll card needs to be revoked.

But my stress level is now closer to Defcon 3, which is a bit of a relief. We finally realized that the idea of trying to balance Bob's permanent residence application at the same time as getting the house ready to sell and finding someplace to live in N. S., and getting decent movers who understand getting things across the border was stupid.

We're going to tell the movers who keep bothering us (admittedly because we contacted them first) and our very patient real estate agent that everything will be put on hold until the application is completed, in, and Bob gets accepted for permanent residence. I'd originally fought the idea, thinking that we could actually handle everything at once. I'm very glad that Bob convinced me otherwise.

So perhaps I won't have to turn my ear buds up to 11 for the next couple of days.

* and if you get that reference, congratulations - you've joined the "older than dirt, and still hipper than the room" club.

Current Mood: amused
Current Location: the home office
Current Music: Ateez, "Say My Name"

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A Town Called Defiance

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